Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Life after Poker

It has been 4 days of no poker for Veneno. The banished posting was removed only because I didn't know how to change the date of the What I like about you #3 posting so that it would show up last.

Anyway, a few of you have asked about my poker status.

Basically, my husband was not happy with the amount of time that I was spending on poker and blogging. On Saturday, we had another serious talk about the subject. I am not really the best at sharing my personal dramas on a blog, but I will give it up for all of you. I appreciate those who have been sympathetic with my situation. It really has been quite difficult.

Content of discussion:

- Even though I was playing primarily after everyone was in bed (giving up sleep) it was still not acceptable.

- I need to devote more time to my family than on poker.

- His parents think I play too much. (They live with us which is another story. That makes 3 to 1 now).

- The kids think I play too much. (ummm, I sometimes forget..Kids rule in our they actually get a vote... That makes 5 to 1)

- My mother will drop by sometimes and notice me playing. She thinks I should not be playing at all. (6 to 1)

- So basically, the whole family is in agreement. I play too much poker.

Now it was up to me to decide what to do. Was there really a choice? It was bad enough trying to play with guidelines and restrictions. But now the kids were involved. Thinking I am a bad mom because I play poker. So I surrendered. Why fight? Why try to set acceptable boundaries? Is there really a point. I mean, I might not follow them exactly. And poker is not really a game to play on a restricted schedule. So I am giving it up.

I have been playing daily for almost a year. It has been a fun ride!!

Especially adding the blogging element and meeting so many interesting people. Kinda disappointing that just when I am getting more readers, I will be winding down. I want to continue my "What I Like About You Series", and I may make some more "Life after poker" postings. But this was a poker blog and without poker in my life the blog seems pointless. I can't see destroying it. Lots of good times and memories. But it is over...I am getting teary-eyed just typing bye for now.

Best wishes all...


Weak Player said...

Well, that really sucks.I will miss playing you. I will miss you being part of the blog conference. Most of all, I will miss those cookies I was going to get. I keeeed.

Take some time to do what you want with. You deserve it. If poker is not the thing (it takes up a lot of time, true,) then do something else. For yourself.

TripJax said...

There are many things I want to write, but I will refrain. I hope things eventually work out where you can play once a week, once a month or once in a blue moon. All in all, I just hope you can play again eventually. Poker can be therapeutic if you consider it a hobby...hobbies are a good thing...

Good luck.

davee3283 said...

I'm with you weak... nice suggestions about having some V time just for V

and I agree about the sentiments re: this whole situation sucking,

will totally miss the V especially after havent been catching up with you more thanlike once a week due to my new job and the time difference problem....

love ya work V and it's been a really great experience meeting you and cruising the tables and the chat has been the best!!!

catcha soon I hope V

trumpjosh said...

I agree... that sucks. I hope to still see you online and perhaps the master will relent.

Anonymous said...


You and I have had this similar conversation on many nights. With 2 young girls I can certainly understand your situation. As you saw, many nights I was playing well after everyone had gone to bed, including the wifey. I will surely mis our late night conversations. I trust you will do what is best for You and Your family. Stay in touch and Best of Luck.


TraumaPoker said...


Veneno said...

Thanks for the support really means alot.

I still come on Yahoo. But for short periods of time.

I'll catch ya sometime I am sure.

littleacornman said...

Very sorry to hear your not allowed to pursue your hobby V.

Like Trip I won't say anymore other than to wish you all the best and say its a pleasure being at the table with you.

GaryC said...

I echo everyone else's comments and hope for some type of change in the future. I enjoy playikng and visiting with you too.

Don't be a stranger.


PokerSweetHome said...

Hey Veneno,

I guess you can chalk this one up to you gotta do what you gotta do. It's a brave and difficult decision you are making and I don't envy you it. Take joy in your family, live every day to its fullest and sneak in the occasional MTT or SNG.



Meek said...

I weep.

chipper said...

I'll tell Santa Claus to put Brad Pitt in your stocking for Christmas. He'd probably vote for you!

Tis always best to listen to the voices of your loved ones, after all - who knows you better then they.

Wish you all of the best. Don't give up the blogging and perhaps play poker when they are not in the house.

DuggleBogey said...

I'm trying to imagine my life if I wasn't allowed to have time for myself to do whatever I wanted to do.

I just can't imagine it.

Yes, there are people in my life that have input into what my hobbies are. And yes, there are certain things that would be unacceptable. Drugs, for example.

I can even imagine someone being addicted to poker and letting it ruin their life to the point where some outside intervention is required by people who love them.

But that doesn't sound like it's the case here. It sounds like you don't even have control of what you want as your hobby. That the only hobby you can have MUST involve your family or children, otherwise it is unacceptable.

I guess when you have children you forfeit ALL ABILITY to do things for yourself, even if it is something that is not harmful that you enjoy.

I guess that's why I don't have children. Because to me, THAT is unacceptable.

kipper said...

Darnit...I will miss you. Although I am not on as much anymore either I am sure I will see you on Yahoo. Or something

e-e baby said...

Hey girl...
I guess you know that Colin and I go around about this... We don't have kids yet, but that comes up in the discussion. I DON'T want our kids thinking their dad sits around playing video games all day. And that's how we earn a living. What a great example that would be!

HOWEVER, I do think you have a leg to stand on and "negotiating" for time is your best bet. The truth is, you deserve it. I'm not sure if you have a second job besides being a mother, but that is one big job already. If so, it does eat into your downtime with your hubby. Either way though, I think you should still work with your husband and your kids to negotiate it (and tell the rest of the family to butt the hell out -- none of their business!).

BUT, you HAVE TO stick to your negotiated time. Period. You have to live up to your promise. Because it is -- believe me!!!! -- a big thing to make room for something you don't like or believe in.

AND then I would recommend you start doing some extra special things for the family in your time with them. Don't BUY them things... just make sure they know you are paying attention when they say they are interested in something and bring it up. Music, books, a show, school project, work, etc. The biggest thing that bugs me about Colin's poker is how much it distracts him. And it does. It takes effort to come down from it.

Well, best of luck... we are all pulling for you, even me! I understand, even if I am a poker-widow myself.


Veneno said...

Weak..I want my waffles!

Trip..Don't refrain..well..maybe on the blog..but i gotta hear it all.. are just too sweet! Thanks for always bring a smile to my face! I feel the love.

Trump..Masters don't relent.

Iggy..Nice to hear from ya..Sign on to Yahoo once in a while..

Trauma..That's what I say!

Little..Likewise, been great playing with you. Even if you did out play me!

Gary..Me a stranger? gonna happen

HSH..Be sneaky..I like that suggestion!

Meek..Don't get me started again..

Chipper..Finally a guy who knows how to cheer a gal up! Thank you. You are the best! Brad would make it all better I am soooo

Duggle..I must be losing it. I am imagining that you posted a comment on my blog..well on the off chance that it is not totally in my imagination..First, thanks for the feedback..Second, yes Kids do change things..and I don't forfeit all..but perhaps 20 hours a week of poker wasn't such a great thing for the family either..

Kip..You will miss me..very touching..thanks..

Liz..thanks for sticking up for me. I doubt "negociating" will work at this stage. My husband would say that this is not the first time that he has had this discussion with his wife. I could have tried to establish reasonable restrictions for poker play. He didn't actually say that I could never play poker. But I am so tired of fighting. And since it was an issue of time, I would rather give up the poker play and have some time to chat with online friends and post a blog now and again. For me poker isn't really something that I can occassionally play. I love it far too much. Thanks again for the support!

DuggleBogey said...

Just because I often disagree with you doesn't mean I don't read your blog or think your opinions have no value.

I'm glad you worked something out with your family.

Drizztdj said...

Wow. I had this discussion about DAoC, and when I switched to playing poker as a hobby I've kept it MOSTLY during time spent alone.

I'd go crazy without alone time, something about watching Extreme Home Makeover reruns isn't appealing. Stick to your guns and work it out.